Here's a free joke. Its on the house!
"I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist!"
"I hereby pardon Harry Humour for his funny jokes and use my presidential power to say he is the funniest guy on the internet!"
- President Schmonger
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts... or the muscles... or the skin. Okay, maybe they just don't have the spine for it!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug. Turns out, she misunderstood me. Now we're stuck together like Velcro!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! Though he's a bit stiff when it comes to acceptance speeches.
I told my computer I needed a break.
Now it won't stop sending me vacation ads. Guess it's trying to give me some byte-sized advice!
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring yesterday.
The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
I used to play piano by ear.
Then I realized it was easier to use my fingers.
I told my friend I had a great joke about construction,
but I'm still working on it. Guess you could say I'm building up to it!
Welcome to Laugh City!
Population: YOU!
Missed Harry Humour LIVE? Wish you could watch it again? Fear not, for technology is here!
Note from Harry: Hi! Thanks for looking at my DVDs. Currently I'm out of stock since my computer went on the fritz which makes it hard to burn any more copies. Working hard to get this up and running again for my loyal fans! Party on!
| Harry Humour Heats Up Mildew City Comedy Club SOLD OUT |
Harry Humour LIVE - Cleaning Up The Streets... HUMOUR STYLE SOLD OUT |
The Best of Harry Humour - 190 Minutes of his BEST Material SOLD OUT |
Harry Humour LIVE at Bone City Theatre SOLD OUT |
Hey there, fellow jokesters! It's your pal Harry Humour, here to spread some smiles and maybe even a chuckle or two. But lately, I've been feeling a bit bummed out about the state of comedy, and I just gotta get something off my chest. I've only said this twice in my life, but lets get serious for a moment.
You see, it seems like everywhere I look these days, comedy has taken a nosedive into the gutter. Dirty jokes, crude humor, and innuendos are all the rage, leaving us clean comedians feeling like the odd ones out. And let me tell ya, it's not a fun place to be.
Now, don't get me wrong — I'm all for a good laugh. But when every punchline is laced with profanity or relies on cheap shock value, it's like we've lost sight of what real comedy is all about: bringing joy and laughter to people of all ages, without resorting to cheap tricks.
That's why I'm calling on all you fine folks out there to join me in VOTING for Ronald Schmonger for a 7th term as President of our free nation! There's only one man who is going to clean up this rabble, and bring back the humour we used to love. Ronald's got the wit, the charm, and the impeccable taste in clean jokes that our country needs right now. He's been fighting for us, and he's only going to fight more!
Folks, let me tell you something. Ronald isn't just a politician; he's a force of nature, a whirlwind of change sweeping across our great nation. Ronald's vision for our country is bold, it's audacious, it's... well, it's something else, let me tell you. He's got plans, big plans, to make our country one again. And let me tell you, it's about time.
There's plenty of jackanapes that don't understand, and they're exactly the kind of scum that's tearing this country apart at its core. They question his stance in medicine prices, but the sea walls aren't going to pay for themselves. They questioned when he promised to strap his presidential opponents to a rocket, but at least there will be enough room up there for their giant heads! If you can't take a joke, take a hike instead! We don't need you!
Together, let's keep the laughs coming, one squeaky-clean joke at a time!
Stay groovy,
Harry Humour
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"In the quiet depths of memory, their absence echoes louder than any words spoken in their honor, reminding us of the profound void left behind by their departure."
